Posted by ihatedrugs on November 17, 2011, at 0:20:25
In reply to Re: I'm losing all hope...so tired of fighting in vain, posted by JohnLA on November 13, 2011, at 19:19:27
> thnx ihd-
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> very cool classes that you teach. one of the girls i loved in my life liked for me to read pablo neruda poems to her in spanish...though i didn't understand a word, she found it very romantic.
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> my depression came about from an 'imperfect storm' of equal parts financial stress, health issues, and loneliness. it all came crumbling down in march, 2010. though, looking back, i think i may have been in a mild funk for a few years before. i could list my specific reasons i'm depressed, but i won't. i'm also thinking i might just be in one hell of a mid-life crisis! ;) one of my issues i realize is that i was in the 12th grade for the last 26 years emotionally and just never truly grew-up. i'm 49, single and now sick. call me a washed-up peter pan.
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> i really like your list of favorite artists. i was lucky enough to see a major exhibit of pollock at MoMA in NY during the 1990's. that experience actually inspired me to start the ap art history program at our school.
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> if i was to answer your question about my favorite artists i would say miles, coltrane, billie, bill evans and john lennon of course.
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> or, a long list of film directors...
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> but! i know we are talking painters. :) here's my list; leonardo, chagall, rothko, vermeer, your beloved pollock, and botticelli (god his models were so gorgeous and modern looking!).
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> so, there are a few of many. like i said i miss 'doing my thing' in class and being in such a positive environment. really miss it.
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> kind of like what you said with your artwork. i miss the 'groove' i would get in with the students. the give and take. i loved learning from those kids.
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> besides my depression i am suffering severe anhedonia. there is not one thing that brings me pleasure. i find this almost bizarre. i was extremely passionate about so much that life offers, especially the arts. it's heart-breaking. i just wish i could cry, but these meds do a good job of blunting emotion.
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> so, there is a bit of my story.
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> thnx again for replying to my post. i hope you find the rest you need during your leave.
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> john
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>Hi John
I hope today has been kinder to you.
Pablo Neruda is one of my favorite poets. His love poems collection is a dream.
Wow you taught for 26 years. I've only been at it 8 years and I'm ready to do something else.
I bet your kids loved you and you made an impact in their lives.
I know what you mean about not being able to enjoy anything. It's even more annoying when you are married to someone who enjoys even the most insignificant thing...Drives my crazy! But I guess it's better than two miserable people cohabitating. We'll get our groove back and we'll be fine. We are going through a rough time right now,but this too shall pass.
BTW, your choice of artists is pretty cool too.
That's awesome you saw a Pollock's exhibit at the MoMA. What an awesome museum that is. Chagall is phenomenal.Take care of yourself. Keep up the faith.
poster:ihatedrugs
thread:1002146
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111110/msgs/1002850.html