Posted by CaffeinePoet on December 22, 2011, at 21:31:19
I have traits of GAD, OCD, and winter depression.
I work as a computer programmer and have been very productive lately and would like to maintain my productivity, while overcoming the overly anxious feelings that I get in the wintertime. Normally, I take .25 to .50 of clonazepam regularly, bumping it up to 1.00 (with MD's ok) if I hit a rough patch. But my MD decided to try me on Buspar because it would be nice for me to be on something that is not, you know, addictive.
This week, I was having off-the-rails anxiety when I picked up my Buspar at the pharmacy. Just 1/2 of a 15mg twice a day. With a half-life of three hours, it worked from the first day. The second day I walked into work and saw my boss and felt less anxiety than I normally would immediately. But it had a great cost of making me also -- completely. unmotivated. COMPLETELY. Sit at the computer at work and doing the least possible work, unmotivated. Come home and leave the dishes unwashed, unmotivated.
I feel that the Buspar kicked in so well and made me feel so 'okay' that I *must* be quite serotonin deficient much of the time, and this might inform much of my negative fears and perceptions in life. Yet I hesitate to continue it regularly.
I'm curious about this lack of motivation on Buspar. This lack of motivation has happened for me on SSRI's and on Effexor. Somehow that sense of desire to accomplish, which is a little anxiety-driven, is defeated by the overly soothing artificial serotonin.
The benzo will calm me down without lack of motivation. But it will NOT raise my serotonin to that "everything is ok " feeling, instead it will somewhat dim those obsessive thoughts without lifting me up.
So. . what's up with Buspar? What does it do, that I'm feeling unmotivated? I *wish* I could have the *everything is ok* AND *I am motivated* feeling together.
poster:CaffeinePoet
thread:1005431
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111208/msgs/1005431.html