Posted by b2chica on April 2, 2012, at 15:10:11
SO how good is good enough?
my standards seem to flux as my mood does.
the worse i get the lower my standards for what i need a med to do.
feeling great (keep me there)
feeling down (make me feel great)
feeling very low (get back up to down)
not functining (get me to only feeling down)
suicidal (get me through the night).i was at not functioning and i am in between feeling down and feeling very low.
but i want to be full functioning, feeling good.or should i be happy where i am. really good things can help me to fake it, as long as they have my attention and the pseudo-reality doesn't break.
then i'm back to very low.
i am able to do 'OK'at my job. but my job really requires me to work above a normal threshold.my mind works come and go. one minute being able to work, the next blank stares at the computer screen struggling for words to speak to someone.
************************
am i asking a med to do too much?
i'm eating well (more than i should but not horrible habits), i dont exercise a lot but im trying to get out during my break to walk around.
and i keep busy (distracted) with kids and tv.
not getting good sleep.*********************
if i'm not asking too much what should i do to my med regimen, change...replace or dare i say add (more??) or hang on a little longer to same regimen?
currently
(dropped Buspar last wed, last day)pristiq 50mg
Adderall 20mg TIDomg, i just realized that i've now been staring at this screen for 3min. i cant even think of what else i'm on...
pristiq 50mg
adderall 20mg TID
perphenazine 4mg night, 2mg mornning
gabapentin PRN allowed 1800/day been taking about 12-1500
xanax only if needed, haven't taken lately
melatonin 5mg nightly
zyprexa 5mg nightly
:(
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1014774
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120328/msgs/1014774.html