Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on July 13, 2012, at 23:34:00
anways i'vve bee seeing this guy for about 2 months now...let me just get to the point ... he says even through me revealing to him that alot of my mind is in grey...and he tends to be vary good with knowing what colors represent...but he als links them to spiritual symbols...i told him all about my methamphetamine induced expieriences with spirit worlds...and I am vary aware of everything I have been doing....the only thing is he sees that I miss the point of the conversation at times and gives that look like someone is an idiot....i try to cover this up but its mental flaws that reveal my errors, no matter how hard I try to make it go away it usally reveals itself during the middle stage process of getting to know someone...usally at the end of the process they consider me easy.
Anyways, let get the point of what I'm posting about....the doc told me that grey is color where your trapped and its linked to bad...dark sides...and that's what is drawing me to become overly intrested of the dark side and lucifer...but really this is the reason I think grey currently...because it numbs the pain of reality of errors that I've created...its like being natrially on xanax and weed together expect with no euphoria...my mind created it because it was seeking something of relief...usally grey is pessimistic too...thinking the worst may be right around the corner...and then makes jokes about it like its nothing new, and im always ready for the worst thing happen.But you know i've really thought about this, this is NOT healthy! I've got to redo my whole stucuture of thought and reason, and get all this black nasty feelings and throw it away. And I do know that if you obesses yourself with the same thought patterns and get into deep routine with thewm it can cause madness...sometimes people believe in god so hard it makes them crazy...or someone who plays chess all the time...their was a report on 60min on tv of this guy something his named was fisher..he went mad playing chess, years of hyperfocus that all his reality was....chess. So I hope someone does read this....but changing your thought patterns and structure into a better process. OCD can happen alot with people who are obessed with thoughts, and it can lead to dereailment from reality due to being hyperfocsued with one thought. High dopamine usally can cause breaks in reality bizarre behavior and thinking.
if you have any input, anything....i would love to hear it. But besies that thank you for reading friend..
rj
I am not a scholar but I do understand distress.
Medications:
Prozac 60mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Lamictal 50mg
Clonodine .1mg X 3
Nuvigil 250mg
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:1021319
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120630/msgs/1021319.html