Posted by Meatwood_Flack on November 6, 2012, at 20:43:10
In reply to what should i do, posted by rjlockhart37 on November 6, 2012, at 14:39:02
God/Lucifer, Fear/Empowerment. Two sides of the same coin. The person who talked about you in the other room aired their opinion outside of your presence as a way of empowering themselves, but in a manner dictated by fear and says more about the way they process the world than it does about you; however you might have actually performed during your interview is a moot point, as long as you were honest. Social graces are an area where the balance between fear and empowerment is tricky for most people, even those who aren't aware of it as such. For example, the so called life of the party finds empowerment in attention because he or she fears exclusion or lack of control. In fact, I think you would agree that many such people are more interested in themselves than those with whom they are mingling. The same can be said of those who find social affairs to be a chore. The fear and need for empowerment are in the same place, they are simply expressed differently due to other factors, such as personality. Are certain social skills necessary in order to function in a society of social creatures? Sure, but it is also very easy to put too much pressure on yourself to perform 'as expected,' when the fact is we're all unique in certain ways and, whether by Divine plan or by an indifferent roll of the Universe's dice, that's just how it is. There's a time to roll with the flow and a time to stand firm. For me, personally, I can function well in a group setting, but then I also make sure I have at least an equal amount of solitude. It's just the way I'm wired. I have a sibling who derives energy from being in the midst of the action at all times. I'm not that way and made peace with it long ago. Touching once more on the coin analogy, the Chinese symbol for crisis is the same as that for opportunity. Which one you see will depend on what side of the coin you choose to look at. Instead of focusing on how you perceive fear as ruling your life, flip the coin over and take a look at the sensitive and caring traits you have that allow what you feel to be fear. The most you can do (and can be expected to do) is your best while pushing your comfort zone out just a little at a time. Many times people don't want to push that boundary because 1. Something bad might happen or 2. Someone's toes might get stepped on. But toes will usually heal, even if they break and worst possible outcomes rarely happen...
poster:Meatwood_Flack
thread:1030831
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121029/msgs/1030850.html