Posted by AMD on April 6, 2013, at 21:14:49
In reply to Re: Hell, posted by linkadge on April 6, 2013, at 9:30:15
> Sorry, whats your diagnosis, and what medications are you taking?
>
> LinkadgeDepends on the doctor you ask, but generally depression and co-morbid obsessive thoughts. I've been symptom free for almost a decade now despite a once-weekly habit of heavy alcohol and cocaine use.
Then Friday the methamphetamine, and now I feel as if I've regressed ten years into the worst depression of my life. It's now been a week and I still can't focus, get out of bed, or find pleasure in anything. For the first time I have imagined what it might be like to end everything. (I would never do that, but I can now emphasize with those who do.)
And I keep coming back to the same thing: one night. Not even a night. Four hours. Four hours of smoking, maybe half a dozen inhales, and my life feels over. Meth has eaten my brain and I feel as if I'm a vegetable. How can that be? I did some inhalants, too, but nothing severe. Perhaps that's the problem.
All I know is I am in pure hell and want to cry every time I think of it. I just want this depression to end so I can think clearly again, enjoy life, my job. I'm in a panic.
amd
poster:AMD
thread:1041737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130322/msgs/1041801.html