Posted by b2chica on July 15, 2013, at 12:28:04
i dont know what happened to my last post.
i need some help.pdoc did rx dexedrine but ER 30mg am. been on since last thursday.
that thursday i slept most day., sat bit better. sunday getting dark thoughts again. all thoughts of death and suffering.
today a little better but its only because i'm with my girls. yesterday i went to church by myself and it seems anytime i'm by myself i just drop. reality sets in.
when i'm in 'mama mode' i can mask my true feelings.which is ok as a destraction. but not good for med change.i left a message for pdoc nurse yestrerday telling her my darkness is back. and i have yet to hear from her. i'll leave another message in a minute. but i cant do this.
i had such severe akathasia night before last i was up till 2. till i took another 1mg haldol.
having severe tired all day. depressive symptoms. blah blah.
im home alone the next three days.
i get such aggitation in evenings.
i need to txt pdoc tonight if i dont hear from nurse.i just need help. i even Said those exact words on message. i cant believe she hasnt called me...
i TOLD her it hits me hard and fast.
i NEW the dex wouldnt work after that first day!!
man i'm so frustrated.i keep having visions of injuring myself bad.
but i dont have the energy for actions. thank goodness as of today i know that death is not something i want.
but soon i may not beable to discern what i really want from what my disease wants....any suggestions as to what to try next?
done ritalin, ritalin LA, adderall (teva, barr, corepharma, sandoz)
now dexedrine ERshould i try vyvanse? i dont like the idea of all day. the IR seems to be better, but right now i NEED desperately to switch to something else.
thank you for letting me vent.
at least i always have psychobabble. :(
unemployed and lonely
b2c.
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1047232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130706/msgs/1047232.html