Posted by Tomatheus on December 25, 2013, at 13:14:52
In reply to Psychotic= Truth and Happiness?, posted by Lamdage22 on December 25, 2013, at 8:33:45
I think that there's likely at least a mild manic element to my psychosis, so yes, I do tend to feel happy when my psychotic symptoms tend to be more intense. There's something to be said about feeling like I've been chosen for a divine purpose, even if in retrospect those feelings seem like they were at least mostly artificial.
As far as whether or not I'm my true self when psychotic is concerned, I'd say that the things that I thought about when I was most intensely psychotic were rather extreme. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I tapped into some hidden truths that actually have some merit to them, but I think that a lot of the things I thought about while delusional were downright embarrassing at worst, or at least terribly misguided. I do wonder, though, if the way I saw the world visually might have allowed me to sort of see a deeper truth in things than I normally see when I see things as most people see them.
However, when it came down to it, I wouldn't say that I was mostly my true self when more intensely psychotic because I was so absorbed by myself and my relationship with what seemed to be the divine that I wasn't of much service to others. It's when I'm of service to others that I feel like I'm the "self" of mine that I want to be.
Tomatheus
Has an affective psychosis with strong symptoms of fatigue, hypersomnia, and difficulty concentrating
Taking Abilify & supplements
poster:Tomatheus
thread:1056977
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20131209/msgs/1056980.html