Posted by SLS on March 22, 2014, at 0:36:29
In reply to Re: finished with meds, posted by stargazer2 on March 21, 2014, at 22:46:39
> Sadly only us and many of "us" even on this board have no idea what "we" are even talking about...unless you are on the suicidal fast train to death, those with so called "depression" have no idea what it is to be on the train.
Yes.
> It amazes me that many on this board even come here unless its for curiosity or amusement.
Sadly, you are probably right.
> What I would give to be able to decide if I want to take a treatment or not based on weight gain or loss of libido, you have no idea what "depression" really is all about.
It is quite a luxury to be able to choose among medications based entirely upon side effects because efficacy is not an issue.
> There are 50 shades of gray of depression and the darkest, blackest coal gray is all I see lately. How to kill myself is all I think of lately.
What, if anything, would you need to hear in order to reduce your thoughts of suicide?
Historically, just knowing that there is a drug that I haven't tried yet was enough to keep me from approaching the precipice. I am not so sure about now, though. Currently, I am improved enough for the suicidal ideations to subside. I don't know how I would react should I be cast into the black hell again without any way to feel better. I am not as resilient as I used to be.
I am placing a certain amount of hope in deep TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) treatments. I might try Brintellix (vortioxetine) before pursuing the TMS, though. I don't yet know where there is a Brainsway deep TMS device available or how I would pay for it.
I wish that I could reduce your suffering and watch you come alive. You never know where your healing will come from.
I'm glad that you chose to survive another day.
- ScottSome see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.- George Bernard Shaw
poster:SLS
thread:1062477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140307/msgs/1063025.html