Posted by Chris O on December 9, 2014, at 16:59:07
In reply to Re: rTMS after two weeks » Chris O, posted by Twinleaf on December 9, 2014, at 10:14:20
Thanks for checking in, Twinleaf. Well, I just did treatment 28 (out of 30) today. I'd say it's having a mild effect on my anxiety and depression, but nothing like that "I'm seeing the world clearly for the first time" experience that some people say they have. There is less enraged screaming as I try to complete my life's little daily tasks, but that I can easily be overwhelmed if I am expected to do too much. And this definitely is not getting me back into the workforce. Nope. I still feel frazzled by anxiety when asked to manage my life.
I guess I am sleeping a bit better on the nights my wife does not yell at me for not doing enough. I don't know. I have bad sleep apnea too, which gets worse the more anxious I become.
In terms of interpersonal relationships, I'd venture to say that 99% of my "issues" come from biological/physical components of my anxiety and depression. If those feelings of heaviness are ever lifted, I would say I have a decent chance of maintaining fulfilling personal relationships.
Probably my core issue from these feelings (which feels very physical to me as well) is that one of deep codependence, where I am looking to others to meet needs or do things that I should be doing for myself. This is a source of endless confusion for me (even more confusing because most people do not acknowledge or see it), and I would root it in my mother (and father) not meeting many of my core needs growing up (do to their own mental health issues). It is the source of much of my rage too.
Again, thanks for checking in. Don't have too much time to spend on writing right now. If I am lucky, my insurance will approve some more rTMS sessions and I will try the right prefrontal dorsal lateral cortex (all treatments have been on the left during this round).
Hope you are well.
Chris
poster:Chris O
thread:1073437
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20141120/msgs/1074085.html