Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2014, at 20:00:51
In reply to im tempted to stop..., posted by b2chica on December 31, 2014, at 18:59:01
hey...
sounds like you need some time out. i surely understand that one. i go bonkers when i don't get the alone time that i need. posting is part of alone time for me. the process of working through my writing. the responses that are... ideas. that aren't sensory information in my face or emotional screamings.
does your DH understand that, about the time out?
i just got back from visiting a couple friends. one of them... i've realised... she can't tolerate being by herself. if she is by herself... she'll get frantically stuck into something physical / busywork. but generally... she needs other people around to distract her. to transform her intensity of emotion into something more... comfortable.
i do enjoy her company but i feel exhausted after 4 or 6 hours. need something like a blackened room for her influence to receed and for me to find myself again. for me to get back in touch with how i'm feeling / thinking about things. so i can figure out what i need / work through my stuff. so i don't get sick.
she really doesn't understand that i need time to myself because she really doesn't have that need. and she really isn't able to give me time to myself when she needs me to be attending to her. so... if i don't want to go out and do x or y or z with her because i say i need some time to myself... then she'll decide to do something which involved her bustling about (stomping past me) every few minutes. something in the room i'm staying in. something such that there is no way for me to be on the property and not have her stomping in and out of my line of vision every few minutes. she simply will not be ignored.
is he like that?
my last visit... she really tried. which means a lot to me, honestly. shows me something about how much she really does value my friendship. but i realised she is simply unable to give me what i need. even though there are... so very many people out there... so very many OTHER people... who must be lonely too... who she could surely bug instead of me...
anyway... i'm trying to convey that maybe i understand a little. maybe.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1074647
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20141120/msgs/1074650.html