Posted by b2chica on April 21, 2015, at 13:39:48
In reply to Re: Lamictal » b2chica, posted by Horse on April 18, 2015, at 16:36:31
no worries.
i'm just miserable and frustrated as H$LL.
saw her last week and she wanted to 'wait' one more week... to make sure the lamictal was completely out of my system.
in the mean time i am exhausted or just lethargic all day except from about 4:00-7:00.
i have no desire for anything... nothing. i've even lost desire to watch tv/movies. don't leave the house, (unless i have too-grocery or doc appt).
hate taking showers... average 1-2 a week.
erics last question... yes, yes and yes.
right now i am in the depressive/dysthymic phase. when i have mania it is very dysphoric. inward anger, suicidal ideation/obsession. some illusions (visual and auditory).
the depressive phase is just a realm of nothingness.
no energy, no appetite (yet i binge on crap once and a while just for something to do... or some strange hope of feeling better)
no passion, no desire to do anything (long term or short term goals). don't even want to leave the house.
i just want to sleep. or stare at the wall.
i'm sad, but not enough to cry, just enough to not be able to smile.anxiety. yes. though not terribly bad. usually starts about 10-11am and waves throughout the day.
*****************
don't bother suggesting meds. i'm tired of listing the endless list of meds I've been on. some have worked great than pooped out, some didn't work at all and some just had terrible side effects that effected daily function and could not stay on them.and it doesn't seem to matter. cuz even if i suggest things to her, she has some reason why she doesn't want to try that... then we 'wait' another week...
i'm just tired.
tired of it all. the wait, the trial, the waiting, the failing, the new trial...
i miss my old pdoc....:(
"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke
poster:b2chica
thread:1078129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20150407/msgs/1078393.html