Posted by UGottaHaveHOPE2 on May 10, 2015, at 14:35:08
One thing thats always frustrating about any medical-related message board is that once you feel better, you might never return to post an update.
During the 15 years that I struggled with anxiety (GAD) and depression, I was on here religiously. There were so many people on Dr. Bob who helped me, encouraged me, and never gave on me that I can even begin to thank them all.
The other day I realized that I, myself, am guilty of never returning to post an update. So here goes:
I struggled with anxiety and depression for 15 years. It hit me out of the blue at the age of 26 years old, and Im still not sure why. Maybe it was genetic? Maybe it was a challenging childhood? Maybe it was health issues? Maybe it was because I couldnt handle the pressures of adulthood? Maybe my body chemistry changed? It probably was a combination of all.
Nevertheless, I struggled. And I was in a dark, dark place for a long time. I took 30+ meds, including Nardil, EMSAM (the miracle drug?) and you name it. I know that these medicines can be miracles for people, and I thank God all the time that they were invented to help us.
For me, personally in my situation, my pathway to healing after a long journey of darkness had to do with something that my therapists had told me to do (but I resisted) since the beginning. My secret was getting connected to other people.
I know that sounds too simple, but it worked for me. Over that 15-year-period, I had pretty much isolated myself. My thoughts, fears and worries were on myself 100 percent of the time. It was a vicious cycle.
So a few years ago, I finally made a concentrated effort to get connected to other people. I joined support groups, I joined a church, I got involved with activities and events, and I started dating again, etc. I cant say that I always felt comfortable doing all of this because it wasnt and it still isnt. Its hard work.
Slowly and surely, things began to change for the better. But its not like my anxiety and depression went away. Its still there. What happened is, by getting connected, Im not focused on my own problems 100 percent of time ... maybe 30 percent. There are other things in there occupying much of that space.
I think about my girlfriend (now wife), our baby girl, and ways I can help encourage other people in my support group and church group, etc. Its not all about only me anymore.
Im not sure that makes much sense, but thats my story. I weaned off taking antidepressants a few years ago (if I had to take them again, I would), and now I only take something to help with sleep. Every now and then, the fear of returning to my former state of mind creeps into my thoughts. But then there is usually some positive distraction to breakup my thought pattern.
I just wanted to follow-up after all these years. Keep fighting the good fight. There is hope. I don't know if this will help anybody or not. It's just my story.
poster:UGottaHaveHOPE2
thread:1078850
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20150407/msgs/1078850.html