Posted by Slugbrain on July 20, 2015, at 9:05:37
In reply to Re: Hello + request for assistance with ADD, anx., dep. meds etc. » Slugbrain, posted by phidippus on July 19, 2015, at 20:20:15
Thanks, Eric. I think the anxiety comes when I take too much of stim - even tiny increases are difficult.. For example, the IR 5mg Dex I use when necessary (extremely effective) can sometimes be a problem - breaking it in half helps but remembering to dose is much more difficult for a disorganized brain. The SR Dex works much better for that reason but no matter how early I take it, interrupts sleep or lessens quality. Poor sleep = poor mood, more anxiety...
I have had rx for klonopin, Xanax and other anti anxiety meds but they're typically far too sedating even in minuscule amounts (I need very very little of anything except antidepressant). I'm also very concerned about links to dementia. Trazodone, though horribly sedating, gave me a glimpse of a truly happy, anxiety free existence (and then I fell back to sleep!). Just got an rx from pdoc for serzone...a gentler trazodone? Hope so.
I've always run on the anxious side... Ether my natural inclination or a result of much cruel criticism of my dreamy/spacey-ness in adolescent/teen/young adult years. Over time I guess Ive incorporated that into an extremely powerful negative introject (or maybe the added anxiety at a particular age wrecked my brain circuitry, led to inattention, etc. I would not be surprised if ADD is some day linked directly to early trauma.
My neg thoughts are always about how little value I bring, especially due to ADD, that I won't ever find employment that fits and won't bore me to tears, that the financial impact of my underemployment is devastating to me and my family, that even when I find something that works initially it ends because of something I've done wrong or not well enough due to poor organization etc. , that everyone else knows what they can and want to do with their lives and are enjoying success because of their clarity.
That's it in a nutshell... ;)
I do take your point about fighting vs accepting those negative messages and I find solace and even a kind of spiritual beauty in that thought, so thank you.
I'm an optimist, but I carry an umbrella. Or 2. Sometimes 3.
poster:Slugbrain
thread:1080416
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20150629/msgs/1080643.html