Posted by Lou Pilder on April 3, 2016, at 8:56:41
In reply to will you keep your feelings to yourself?, posted by swim on April 1, 2016, at 14:58:16
> Hi!
>
> I just wanted somebody to let know of how disastrous i felt today, i even can't believe a person could feel like this, just acting normal but how i feel inside this is unimaginable, this even can't be but in words. This was the hardest day among the hard days. This can't be even real, if the Nardil isn't working, i feel like i being tortured inide my own mind and i can't escape. I really don't know what to do anymore, i even don't bother to tell about how really really terrible i feel, because i know they can do nothing to help me. This can't even be described in words, I mean how something like this could even be possible?
>
> I started Nardil 3 months ago and again the first 2 months were amazing- i was feeling alive, not suffering, not in pain anymore, but it always comes back, the pain, it comes back, i mean it goes away for a short while but it still comes back, it doesn't mater how much i want it to stay away. I have untreatable persistent depression, which without nardil has no escape, i feel so depressed even writing it, but i just needed to say it out! It's only been couple of months brake from the depression (i even don't want to see this word anymore, more less type it)after getting back on Nardil and and feeling so undescribably horrible that i haven't even find cognitive power to express my self about how i feel and to post anywhere. At the moment i'm upstarts writing this and i hear my brother and his girlfriend laughing downstairs enjoying a movie and i just can't understand why i can't enjoy something like this, why am i so different?
>
> This went off subject but do you tell other people about how you feel, can they help you? I mean i usually act just normal, i don't know why i do this, i should be crying and asking for an ambulance, but i dont.someone,
You wrote,[...I feel like I being tortured inside my own mind and I can't escape...I know they can do nothing to help me...feeling so .. horrible...].
This is a sign. It is a sign of being lost. It is a sign of outer darkness. It is a sign of being in the Heart of the Earth. But it is darkest before the dawn. And there you will see the Morning Star.
Lou
poster:Lou Pilder
thread:1087731
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20160331/msgs/1087782.html