Posted by porkpiehat on July 31, 2018, at 23:08:58
since I've been taking MAOI's I've had a profound lack of empathy and interest in others. Scares the sh*t out of me. I have a PTSD background and possible BPII/borderline. I've always been somewhat narcissistic but never to this degree. I feel like I don't love my family and friends a lot of the time.
My new therapist suggested I may never had developed empathy due to trauma at an early age, but I know some of the anticonvulsants like trileptal and gabapentin, even klonopin and alcohol (the next day after I drink), have opened up my interpersonal feelings. Antipsychotics frequently make it worse.
I've always felt they've been buried by anxiety, but Part of me wonders if I've just given up and become bitter about my feelings of alienation and lack of sustained relationships, plus anger. But now I can't get past the suspiscion that I'm some kind of latent psychopath and I've nearly committed suicide over the last couple of weeks ruminating over it.
I think the dopamine has some roll in it. I felt this way (worse even) when I was taking effexor and vyvanse. MAOIs obviously boost it too, I can tell because my drinking, smoking, and compulsive behavior has gone thrugh the roof. When I stopped taking the effexor mix a lot of my feelings came back, followed by depression of course.
I could really use some help my therapist seems to have an axe to grind with me and almost suggests I need to stop looking for outside causes for the terrible person that I am.
Cheers?
poster:porkpiehat
thread:1100043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20180728/msgs/1100043.html