Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 8, 2020, at 1:25:28
yestuday, i was so depressed, but not this kinda of depression where you feel down, im talking where you just in tbe bed, in the deepest sorrow, or feeling. It's hard to describe, like people in mental hospitals who litterly have depression so bad, they can't leave. It's like you don't feel, but combined with sadness, more than the word. I was thinking about my family, i had a great childhood, there was hardly anything about it that was truama, but in school i did horrible in sports through the 6th grade, and i fell behind disappointed people, got made fun of. And was thinking in deepest feeling of failure, not being invited to birthday parties, you know just little junk feelings, but you think about them in own time, in the bed. Then my family posted pictures, of events that i was never invited too, they have fun my brothers, but they never invite me, even if did, i would feel this shady feeling. Like great seeing you, then tend to not want to regularly hang out. More like a one time event. And....this was not causing depression, the depression was causing me to think things. I'm sayin those people in mental hosptials who are so depressed they just sleep and get up and don't want to be awake. It's hard to describe more indpeth because you do feel a pain, but its strongest feeling of depression, you get up and just ... exist.
So, i'm back to normal, went through a true depression event, being so depressed you can't....you have to stay in bed, nothing stimuation from tohe outer world would make you cheered up. If i was during that none of this posting would matter, none of it. I would not post, and be sorrowed in the bed, waking up to gloom.
People write about depression, but that real glmps of what is was, even on prozac. Without prozac, i would only be on prayer to god to keep me going.
what is your most ... deep depression, deepest times, do you just feel like staying in bed, and being sorrowed even by laying down (don't use this post as a trigger, to reexperince, just want to know stories and hard times)
"There comes a time in your life where you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it"
-Shannon L Alder
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1110010
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20200303/msgs/1110010.html