Posted by jay2112 on July 21, 2021, at 21:55:33
In reply to A Cure for Fear, posted by Hugh on July 19, 2021, at 11:53:41
Hi Hugh:
I believe the research, and maybe it's because I have such bizarre reactions to meds (30+ years of this c*ap) but, I have a very deep insecurity, mostly from grief...aggravated grief. I lost a number of very close people to me, starting when I was 17, and my childhood best friend shot himself in the head. Then, my common-law girlfriend and child in a car accident. All of my family has passed, and in the past short while, was caring for my parents. My Mom died of a stroke one year (I watched her die) and my Dad the next year, of kidney failure. And...people don't understand the trauma...but I just recently lost my beautiful little dog, who was my *only* companion, and I held him in my hands as he was put down.
I live in poverty...now have extreme fear of the dark, and major agoraphobia. I am constantly scared...of everything and anything. Propranolol may sometimes calm me down a bit. But only a huge cocktail of very powerful benzos, and their me-too drugs like Lyrica and Neurontin, plus smaller doses of Effexor and Elavil, plus tiny doses of antipsychotics, AND daily doses of cannabis THC pills, and Vyvanse, make me functional, lose a bit of fear, and stop my endless flow of tears...or reduce the episodes of crying.
The only thing that has started to save me has been assigned a therapist/community counsellor, and group therapy. Otherwise, I would just let myself go, with neglect.
But, that is just me. It doesn't help that I am a weird mix of introvert, but crave sensitive human connection. I guess we all do though. I think I may also benefit from small doses of illicit/exotic drug taking, especially during therapy.
Sorry for going on...but I honestly think aggravated grief, and it's fears, is one of the most treatment resistant Dx's out there.
Jay
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
-Don Miguel Ruiz-
poster:jay2112
thread:1116014
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20210418/msgs/1116036.html