Posted by tabitha on January 13, 2004, at 23:01:34
In reply to Re: goals -- and how to try to achieve them, posted by Dr. Bob on January 13, 2004, at 21:02:35
I've seen forums where every heated thread gets locked and/or deleted. I've seen forums where you're not allowed to talk about each other at all-- you strictly have to talk about the topic. I've seen forums where personal attacks are allowed as long as they don't get too terribly flaming.
Personally I enjoy the unique features of Bob's moderating here. I like the out-in-the-open warnings and blocks, and the lively discussions about them. I know it's tempting to see PBCs and blocks as public humiliation and punishment by an impersonal authority figure, but it can also be seen as a learning experience. I've grown to appreciate the strict civility standards here. Bob advocates a sort of radically non-violent communication style. I like the idea that you can't attack someone, even if you're convinced they deserve it, or that doing so will make you feel better, or will make someone else feel better, or will force the 'offender' to become a better person. We *are* allowed to state our hurt or angry feelings toward another in a conflict, but without going into judging and labelling them. I think those are good rules, even though they've not always been easy for me to follow.
poster:tabitha
thread:300134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/300450.html