Posted by james dean123 on September 30, 2008, at 3:13:30
As many people including those closest to me have told me many times that i have a very low tolerance to stress, pain, depression etc..
i know people have suffered depressio worse than mine but i am looing for some advise! So let me begin.
I had for the first time at the age of 30 came accross the most fabulous thing in the universe that cured all my problems. It was always the solution to all my problems and it was going to make me take home the nobel prize some day. It was Cocaine! To make along story short in just over 14 months of 24/7 cocaine binge addiction! To add many years of steriod {anabolic)abuse! It cost me my house, my car, a criminal record,credit score of 790 to 810 down to 520! and thousands of dollars ! But nothing compared to the DEPRESSION and ANXIETY so severe, that I would rather not live and may even chose a painful death than experience the deepest portion of my deression and anxiety. (I believed it was HELL ON EARTH) I had a constant fear that is hard to describe but comparable to being told you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness (9 aids or cancer).The greatest pain/fear was along side the depression I was in a state i was in a state of emotional and physical pain (feeling electicity flowing thru my veins without relief. Intermitent aches thru upper extremites! I was unable to care for or even hold my 3 y/o son !!!! Horrifying, terrifying "GUT RENCHING PAIN" that is triggered by the thought of simple tasks of openping my mail, answering my phone and worst of all listen to my telephone messages!
I am a registered nurse of 8 years and have been in the geriatric psych field!
I have tried effexor that did not help. I was then placed on generic wellbutrin this just intensified my symptoms!
Its has been six months and i am able to fuction at work but have no ambition and am bored all the time .. I am not able to enjoy life or the time i spend with my 3 year old son.
Any suggestions? ECT?? A New antidepresssant?
poster:james dean123
thread:854903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20080612/msgs/854903.html