Posted by BetweenDreams81 on September 24, 2010, at 23:30:26
In reply to Re: Lithium Orotate for depression? Anyone using this » Hombre, posted by BetweenDreams81 on September 24, 2010, at 1:24:32
Hombre...not sure how helpful this is...but maybe it will give more insight into the direction I should go with regard to trying specific TCM tonics or herbs...warnign...it's long (sorry!)
I have done some thinking and writing to gain a little more clarity into the exact emotions/feelings/thoughts/physical symptoms
-lack of sleep
-little motivation/drive to finish what I have started
-fatigued like some one hooked me up to a machine and zapped all the energy out of me-I have noticed a tendency lately...I have been zoning out. I'll be reading something and all of a sudden I realize that it is 5 min later, and I don't know where it went I'm still at the same point before the 5 min lapse
-this might sounds strange...my mind feels 'full' as if everything is packed in envelopes...but so packed that it can be hard to articulate especially verbally...not nearly so much with writing. I get jokes and love humor, but I have never been the whitty type to come up with my own lines. I live inside of my head a lot.
-tend more towards depression than mania (I think?), stuck and self-depricating...it feels heavy and stagnant
-depression is very much environmental dependent...ie: I visited for a few days with a friend who lives directly on the water, house is comfortable and has good vibe to it...I felt fantastic...got home and was greeted home with brown grass(drought) and more stressful environment and that sent me plummeting (reactive)
-anxiety if I get stuck on a paticular thought pattern especially where money is concerned
-if I feel uncomfortable with the way I am dressed...I will fidget endlessly and get extremely self-concious (ie, a gorgeous dress I had purchased last winter was slightly too big now, that sent me into a strange panic, I changed and the feeling was gone)
-lately having fits of social anxiety which is no bueno when you are in sales! or self-employed (I'm doing both) could use more self-assurance and confidence
-when I am engaged in a particular topic of interest, I will study or focus on that one thing endlessly...my biggest one for the past 3-4 years is studying bloodlines of show jumper sporthorses (I have bred 2 of my own)...I have literally stayed in one spot at my computer for 48 hrs at a time straight researching
-severe mood swings during PMS...not usually depression, though v. irritable/reactive emotionally and often my mind races.
-impulsive purchases (ie the horses and breeding them) or gourmet food/wine, or home furnishings when I don't have the budget for it...or like last weekend it was paint and I spent 3 night up in a row until 6 AM
physical/familial attributes:
-thin
-poor circulation to lower limbs/feet
-naturally a morning person (though not so much now due to lack of sleep)
-prone to acne (though, interestingly, it is very symetrical. if I have a blemish on left it's often in a very similar place on the right side as well)
-sensitive/reactive skin (redness/heat)
-history of heart disease both sides of the family
-Mother's side of the family prone to obesity/diabetes (Dad's side of family was not obese)
-family history of bipolar and depression on my mother's side
-strong will to be independent/entreprenuerial
-not often sick or susceptible to sickness
-never tried any drugs and do not depend on alcohol (my sister has an addictive disorder and I am fairly certain that she is bipolar)
-Mom is on Lexapro and Ambien has type 2 diabetes, moderately overweight, and hypochondriac
-Dad's side of the family was sane...he was a quiet eccentric/genius (physical chemist), slender, smoked, very fit and active, had heart disease (actually had a heart attack at one pt and never knew it until he took a stress test 10 yrs later...thank goodness he was so active and healthy)I eat healthy, avoid sugar/simple carbs/corn/potatoes/some soy/overly processed foods/dairy as much as I can. Eat a lot of blue/purple/red fruits. Chia seeds. Could use more fish and leafy greens probably
I must, must start doing more physical exercise, I'm lucky, I look fit...but I am not anywhere close to fit.
Eeps! Sorry for writing a book!! Does this help?
poster:BetweenDreams81
thread:962840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20100812/msgs/963665.html