Posted by Racer on March 20, 2005, at 15:49:09
Thank you for answering my last question, about treatment for AN. I wasn't very clear, I guess, but I am partially weight restored right now. That's really upped the voltage on my body image issues, though, and that's where I'd love some guidance.
From previous episodes of AN, I know that my weight MUST be restored above the bottom end of the range in order to keep me in remission. My weight right now is not far below the bottom end of that range, and my nutritional counselor has said that it would be acceptable for me to stay in that range. I know, though, that it's dangerous for me to stay below about the halfway point in that range. (For ease here, I'm 5'9", and my initial target weight was 145. My weight, after significant gains, is up to 125 right now. Just easier to admit all this than try to explain without numbers.) I know that, at 145, I am relatively safe from relapse -- but at a very high emotional cost, because that's heavy enough that I cringe at the sight of myself, and basically only manage to bear it by saying very negative things t omyself -- like, "there's no point in trying to lose weight/dress nicely/wear make up/etc because at this weight it's like lipstick on a pig."
This time, the first time I've ever received treatment for AN, I want to find a way to address that self-loathing, especially as it pertains to my body. Can you offer any advice on how to begin? (Again, while I have just started seeing a new therapist, she does not have a lot of experience with EDs in general, and apparently none in AN.)
Thank you for your time.
poster:Racer
thread:473238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/473238.html