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I hate myself

Posted by jesica on June 24, 2005, at 17:40:42

I hate my self!!!!!!
Until i was 7 years old I was such a skinny kid. As the years passed I got bigger and bigger and bigger. This has become a real problem. I describe myself as a bit over weight, not too much but very well proportioned, so it's not that bad....but still I HATE IT!!! And what makes it worst is that my mother and brothers are always reminding me of how much weight I have to loose. My brothers are just idiots, and my mother only says it for my own good. But I still can't help slamming the door shut and crying for days.
I have tried every single diet out there...Dr Bernstein, weight watchers, Atkins, slim fast, body science and even been to a nutritionist. I do admit the at first I loose the weight but then once I go off it I gain it all back and more. I've taken laxatives and even tried to make myself vomit and I just can't. I've tried everything that can make me get groused out and still can't vomit. I was on the i-net and found out that I can take something called Epicac (I think) and that is suppose to make me vomit but with my luck they don't sell it here in Canada.
I don't know what to do anymore. Lately I haven’t been myself and been having panic attack and even fainting, I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and she said that I have depression and she put me on a medication called Effexor XR. Since I've been on that medication I feel tiered all the time and I find myself even eating more.
I am so tiered of feeling like such a cow. I have a boyfriend who is wonderful and loves me very much but I keep thinking that one day he will find a skinny girl and leave me. Because of this I have a really low self esteem.
What can I do...Please HELP.


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Psycho-Babble Eating | Framed

poster:jesica thread:518252
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/518252.html