Posted by Racer on August 15, 2005, at 12:43:40
In reply to Hello people wake up board!, posted by LOOPS on August 11, 2005, at 20:13:03
I've been blocked, or I would have posted this sooner...
Thank you for showing up, and come back often.
I'm middle-aged, and anorexic. Since last November, I've gained about 40 pounds, and still have a bit to go -- and am totally freaked out by the weight gain, teetering between trying to restrict again, freaking out because I can't anymore, and trying to meet my meal plan and be healthy.
One thing that sometimes spurs me on to healthy eating is the promise that my metabolism will recover, and I won't gain weight so easily if I can just stay in a healthy range. That only works sometimes, but it's the most helpful thing for me to remember.
What really befuddles me about it all is *why* I should be so fixated on what my body looks like? Even though I kinda know the other things about me that are valuable, and I can name things about my looks that I like, I still can't get past this idea that I'm supposed to be thin. Add in a certain amount of distortion about what I actually look like, and there's a recipe for disaster.
Lately, what's really been scaring me is that I have such an urge to empty my stomach after eating. I try to tell myself that the awful over-full feeling will go away in an hour, but that doesn't work -- especially since it takes so long for the feeling to go away! Often, I'm uncomfortable for two or three hours before it finally feels normal again.
While I'm sorry that you're dealing with this too, I'm glad to have someone else here who understands.
poster:Racer
thread:540435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/541929.html