Posted by Racer on September 29, 2005, at 13:01:20
In reply to Feeling down abt some posts lately, posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 28, 2005, at 23:56:11
>
>
> Anyway, there have been a lot of posts on babble lately talking abt not wanting to start on antidepressants for fear of gaining weight. The tone that they take makes me feel like I'm worthless for not being thin and cute. I think I'm just looking for someone else who can relate.
>
> Best,
> EEI can relate, although I'm also one of those people who says that she won't start an AD that might cause weight gain... Figure that one out -- and then explain it to me?
In my case, I've had some bad experiences related to weight gain from ADs. For one thing, my weight gain hasn't been five or ten pounds, but fifty to seventy pounds. You can see that that might be a problem? Admittedly, I was anorexic when starting, so we're looking at about 35 pounds underweight to 35 pounds overweight, but still...
And then there was the family discussion one Christmas, when my cousin's wife, after hearing that I couldn't lose the weight because it was put on by my AD, told me that I shouldn't take it if it made me fat -- "no wonder you're depressed, when it makes you so fat." (I wonder exactly why I'm anorexic?)
I give it to myself coming and going, both. On the one hand, I can't stand the thought of giving up so much quality of life over an antidepressant. I don't want to be fat, constipated, and stupid all the time, which is my experience so far with most ADs. Then again, when I'm thinking about the dearth of options available to me at this time, a big part of me says, "Ah, quit your bellyaching, just take what works enough on your depression -- no matter what it does to you." (That's largely the message I got last year during a treatment nightmare. It's a long story, though, and not worth telling.)
I don't have any answers to it, I'm afraid. The Calvinist in my soul says that one can't have everything, so take what you can get. Then there's the part of me that says that the quality of my life really does matter, and I'm not being fair to myself to say that it doesn't.
Then again, my current cocktail is behaving like a vacuum cleaner, if you know what I mean, so I'm not the best person to ask for any hope right now.
poster:Racer
thread:560861
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/560984.html