Posted by WorryGirl on May 10, 2007, at 7:07:19
I have to add that my higher weight (went from 120 in my 20s to 165-170 currently, at 40) bothers me for one major reason. It is because I am depending on others' approval of it. And the people who have surrounded me have all thought I looked better when I was slimmer. And while many don't come right out and say it (and some just passively-aggressively say "Oh, was that you? You're kidding?" when looking at an old photo from before they knew me). Now in all fairness many of these people don't even know about my ED. But others, even after they know about it, still seem to think that if I just work out and eat healthy I'll magically have this slender figure. I think it is too late for that. I think I can have a healthy, voluptuous figure, even if I eat healthy. But that doesn't seem to be good enough for so many people in my life (my husband says I look great, but he enjoys viewing slender actresses and pictures of slender women. In the past, he has always liked the slender ones - now he just doesn't say anything). It is my biological family that is the worst. They all think I simply eat too much, and that I should have a slim figure. They know about the eating disorder, and even they have made comments when looking at old pictures about how "skinny" I used to be. NOBODY tells me I look great now except my husband, thank God, because he knows how hard I battle my ED. Why can't my mother just accept me at the weight I am? I'm 40 years old for crying out loud. Why do I still have to look so d*** perfect? I just can't do it.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:757357
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/757357.html