Posted by karen_kay on September 11, 2007, at 20:33:34
In reply to Re: ((((((((((antigua3))))) ***csa trugger*** » karen_kay, posted by antigua3 on September 11, 2007, at 6:57:48
what's that mean? it could be the topamax, or my blasted black hole called my brain, but i don't know what that means or have forgotten it.
i know i already feel duck's suffering. if he doesn't eat a whole lot, i wonder, 'is it my fault?' i worry he's getting scurvy and give him my 'old lady drinks' (ensure). he tries to feed me from his high chair (which is normal i'm sure, but i stil take it to heart, you know?). and i'll not even talk about him pulling out the scale from the restroom adn standing on it :( and he's not even 2 years old. buuuuuttttt, i'm weird.
i know my medication makes for a decreased appetite, but when i was on it before, i didn't drop this much weight. i usually stuck to a couple meals a day and stayed easily 10 -15 lbs heavier than i am now. i keep tryign to blame stress, but i don't know if that's the cause or not. i think the more i obsess over it, the worse it gets for me.
maybe like you said, i'm wanting people to notice 'hey, i'm here! someone notice there's something not right'??? then again, i don't know. i honestly don't. i just can't eat. even when my anxiety is down, i can't eat. i tend to overanalyze everything. maybe i'm trying to disappear or something? i wish i knew what it was!
my eating habits are like this, i simply don't/can't eat until around 10 pm. if i eat before that, for some odd reason, i can't eat again that day. i don't have a hunger for sweets and i really used to enjoy chocolate. and my diet consists mainly of coffee and cigarettes. nothing else sounds good, and the only reason i eat usually is to choke down a vitamin without getting sick.
sweetie, i understand what you're going throuhg, i really do. maybe jsut sharing will help? is it hard for you to eat in front of others? or, do you weigh yourself often, to see about putting on weight (i know i obsess about putting it on, and then am disappointed to find i've lost it again. a friend pointed out the weight i put on may have been water weight from 'cycle')?
maybe an open discussion will be beneficial for both of us?
poster:karen_kay
thread:782092
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20070820/msgs/782324.html