Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 14, 2007, at 4:31:09
In reply to I am a reject -- really, posted by DannaB on January 13, 2007, at 23:14:11
Hello!
Well, first of all, I can understand your situation - I think I've been like that alot too when I was younger.
Okay so some suggestions.
First of all, you really have to work hard on developing your self esteem. I mean, buy books, buy tapes, try and get some self esteem therapy.
Secondly, when you're out with friends, just try and relax. Be yourself. Don't care about what they might be thinking about you. Just be you. Don't try hard. The harder you try and be something you're not, the more difficult it will be, and the more you will make awkward conversation etc. Just try and show them some of your inner self, which you said your pdoc likes, so why won't your friends like that too? Try and go to some clubs or groups or something. I don't know your age, but try going to a group or something that interests you - I thinking that you need to have new experiences and adventures - when I was 17 or so I go into outdoor pursuits heavily, and that really helped. Perhaps you prefer drama or music or something, but whatever it is, it will help. Try and travel too, even if it is just visiting an aunt in a city you've never been to before. Go there by yourself using public transport. Just kinda broaden your experiences.
Thirdly, you don't have to be nice to get ahead in your career. Quite the opposite in fact. You really don't have to give a hoot about what people think about you. Imagine you're the manager of 20 people. You are the same age as they are. Several of them regularly turn up late for work. As their manager, you are going to have to reprimand them for being late all the time. They are clearly not going to like you for telling them off for being late. So clearly, you are not being nice. At Christmas I was watching a show about entrepreneurs and a multimillionaire said that he got to where he was because he was a 'sh^t' to other people and he clearly wasn't nice. Thats not to say you shouldn't treat people with respect and manners, but one should try not to become a doormat, just because you're trying too hard to be nice all the time. You can't please all people at all times.
And lastly, YOU'RE NOT A REJECT!!!!!!
Everyone has times when we feel we aren't as liked as we should be, but that doesn't mean you're a reject. Reject is a very harsh word, and I believe that no-one is a reject. Everyone is unique and has good qualities. Other people are not better than you. In fact, I bet you have a whole lot of compassion and sympathy and are a very nice person without even trying! I like you already, and thats just after reading one post!
Kind regards
Meri
poster:Meri-Tuuli
thread:722106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20061105/msgs/722134.html