Posted by Dena on March 6, 2003, at 22:47:35
In reply to Sweet Dena, posted by Miller on March 6, 2003, at 20:01:41
Miller (Jyl) (I like your name!):
thank you for trusting me with your prayer needs. I spent some more time praying for you tonight, after I tucked my children in. Only, they didn't all stay tucked in & began wandering about...the only quiet place I could find to crawl away into was the bathroom - but I know God hears me even from the "porcelain throne" - lol!
I'm glad you found your own private sanctuary tonight in that church. I'll be praying that God will give you His gift of faith. Faith is like a living thing, like a muscle. When we first begin to exercize it, it feels weak, strange & unfamiliar. As we take baby steps in faith, acting on whatever tiny measure of faith we can find, then faith grows, just as a muscle gains strength when it's used. Be patient & gentle with yourself.
Regarding being honest with yourself, I understand completely. I developed a serviceable external "persona" in my younger years, in order to cope with a difficult family life. My persona is strong, capable & stoic. It doesn't get hurt. It doesn't feel pain. It keeps out all the bad feelings. But it's also kept out all the good feelings. I guess I learned early on that to survive, I had to squelch feelings & be "in control". So, now, as an adult who's no longer in that unsafe environment, I can't seem to access those feelings. Does this relate to what you were describing, or have I gone off onto a self-absorbed rabbit trail? I'll pray that God will restore us to the emotionally-free women we were designed to be. Would you be willing to pray for me about this too?
About your third request - to help me better understand, can you tell me how you've lost your husband? Divorce? Death? Perhaps it doesn't matter, but maybe knowing more about the loss will help me to focus my prayers for you. You wrote: "If I can finally learn to speak the truth, I will need strength to mourn the true past. If I am to continue with my life and to improve, I need strength to commit myself fully to doing so." This sounds very deep and personal. I feel as if I'm being allowed to peek into your soul. Can you elaborate a bit, so that I can understand better? If you don't feel free to elaborate, it's ok. I can still pray, knowing that God knows all the details.
Before I go tonight, I want to share a scripture from the Bible with you. It's one of my favorites.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."May God sink these words deep into your heart, that He would plant a seed of hope that would grow & flourish, that would sustain you.
Lord God, right now I ask that you would touch Miller, right where she is. That she would sense your presence & be filled with Your hope and Your peace. I ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.
Good night, Miller (Jyl)
poster:Dena
thread:206510
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20021227/msgs/206683.html