Posted by malthus on January 23, 2005, at 8:55:33
I believe I have honored these guidelines to anyone who is reading this.
"Since the idea here is support, please don't pressure others to adopt your beliefs or put them down for having theirs. Sorry, but this may mean not posting some aspects of some beliefs"
Dear Angel:
I can't believe I'm venturing onto the Faith Board. I am sharing this message with you because I hope you will stay at PB. Perhaps it is for selfish reasons but I would so like to have someone to chat with about Faith. I have been going through a renewal phase in my relationship with Christ. Part of that renewal has to do with the fact that I find it very difficult to forgive people who have hurt me. Please understand that the following is something that I am currently struggling with. The fact that I am writing it does not mean I think you should be even thinking along these lines. I need to remember that forgiving doesn't mean condoning the offense. I've come to realize that the people I have the most difficulty forgiving are the people I love the most, authority figures and people I feel in competition with. The last one is particularly difficult. Just the other day at work I was feeling left out of a group dynamic and then a co-worker was snippy with me when I asked a simple question. I became miserable. I wanted to make him miserable too. I went to my classroom and just tried to feel Jesus's present risenness. It was really difficult because all these thoughts of having to check myself into the hospital for mental distress kept jumping into my head. And I didn't get an answer right away. Then he (the co-worker)came into my room (I had been crying) to check on a textbook and tried to chit-chat with me about the student and the textbook, etc. He didn't apologize. But after he left the room I felt better and decided that I did not want to be leashed to that situation. Lately I have found immense comfort when I consider the cross and what happened there. I know I will need grace, mercy and forgiveness from others in the future. I don't want to put the leash in the devil's hand with feelings of resentment.
I'm not sure if this is a Psalm but I am going to start saying this out loud:
"I will trust and I will not be afraid".
hoping you will stay,
malthus
poster:malthus
thread:446137
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20050111/msgs/446137.html