Posted by bleauberry on October 28, 2007, at 18:29:01
In reply to Faith healing and the power of the holy spirit., posted by deniseuk190466 on June 4, 2007, at 15:06:31
I can relate to you. Your story sounds like me. I prayed and prayed for years. Nothing.
Eventually something went wrong. Prozac no longer worked. Actually it, and all others, made me worse. Zyprexa no longer worked. Nothing worked. Everything made me worse. I had no choice whatsoever except to wean off everything, after 10 years. It took me 6 months to wean off. Then 3 months of scary adjustments to a drug free life, massive anxiety, and surprisingly...a slight improvement in depression. Over time, improvement in anxiety. I focused heavily on eating the best food of anyone in town. Only pure filtered water and lots of it. The use of certain herbs when I needed them...passionflower during an anxiety attack; valerian when I needed a good night sleep; ginkgo for a day of energy; 5hpt for resetting things for a few days. Actually didn't need them much. But it was TOUGH. Nobody had any idea what a wreck I was. I did a good fake job. I cried and sobbed in private.
I got involved in the church. They needed a guitarist. I play well. Now I am their hero. Did that help my healing? Honestly, no. But, it was a great distraction. That's what you need...things to keep busy and distracted. Time to focus on how bad you feel is your enemy.
So why does God miraculously heal some but not most? His ways are greater than ours, so there is no way we can know the answer. Be sure, He loves you like you would love your own child. He wishes no harm to you. He allows you to endure what you feel for a reason. A good reason. He has something magnificent in store for you. But to do that job, you need to have a certain strength, character and skill that no one else has. That is what you are being shaped for. It feels like agony to you and me, here and now, but is actually pure goodness in the longrun. You have an amazing purpose in God's plans. Why does your suffering have to be part of that training? Don't know. Some day you will look back and it will be clear as day and you will smile with happiness.
Keep in mind, God invented all herbs and plants, many of which drugs are derived from. God invented and loves the doctors and scientists who invented the drugs you take. The devil steps in by having people misuse those drugs, or depend on them too heavily. If drugs help you, be glad. But don't stop there. Use whatever strength the drugs give you to go out in the world and do something for God. That will help the drug work better, which will make you stronger to go out and do more good, which will make the drug work even better, and so on, it is cycle that keeps repeating all in your favor.
For me it is like 2 steps forward, 1 1/2 steps back, 1 step forward, 1/2 step back, 3 steps forward, 2 steps back...but overall I am inching forward. There are plenty of real bad bads. It is all I can do to thank God even though I don't feel it, to have faith in Him even though I don't feel it, and to pray to Him even though it seems fruitless. By the end of the day, I look back and see how he helped me through the tough times more than I would have done just on my own. I am being built for something much bigger and better than what is in the life of mine right now.
God responds to worship. Praise Him. He deserves it. He loves it. When you feel bad, it is so hard to thank Him for anything. If you can't think of anything to praise Him for, then praise Him for what you don't have. Like for example, cancer, a broken spinal cord, a wheelchair, blindness and deafness, a prison cell, etc. God created us for His companionship. Talk to Him. About anything. He loves to hear you. Those in the bible who endured torture but somehow kept as much faith as they possibly could were rewarded hugely and massively with more goodness than they ever dreamed of. Their torture was the same or worse than yours and mine. Their faith was probably just as shakey as your and mine. Even if you have to force your faith and don't totally feel it, that in itself is a powerful proof of faith.
You WILL be healed. When? Don't know. Why? Don't know. How? Don't know. God's plans are always good beyond anything we have brains large enough to comprehend. He is perfect. Your depression is not a mistake. Hard for you and me to believe, but it actually has a perfect good purpose, and you are a special annointed person to have been chosen for the job, whatever it is. It will be a special high job where only a few of the very strongest will be chosen, like you and me.
I asked God for months, "Surely you have created something I can put in my mouth to help me...an herb, a vitamin, a medicine...please tell me find what it is." Well, in God's wonderous ways, He finally told me after I asked enough times, "It is not what you can put in your mouth, it is what you need to get out of your mouth". In other words, I was experiencing the devastating effects of chronic low level mercury toxicity coming from the amalgams in my teeth fillings. Now that they are gone, it will take years to recover and maybe never heal completely. But it does go to show that if you pray enough and keep the faith and turn everything over to God, He will take control. It was not until I totally gave up and said, "God, I've done all I can. I'm done. There is nothing left. I have no choice but to put this completely in your hands. I know not how to survive the next day, or even the next hour. But I give it all to you". It was then I could see God smile, because indeed He wants us to acknowledge His awesome power to handle things we cannot.
As I look back on the years of drugs failing, withdrawals, rebuilding a new life while a wreck, and getting amalgams removed, I can see God was actually at work the whole time. He indeed improved my life, one small step at a time...each step no larger than I could handle at the time. The process continues. As you feel, the process for me is way to slow. But we don't see the whole picture. He does.
You will get answers. Pray. Ask for them. They may come in ways you don't expect and at times you don't expect. Ask Him, "Do you want me off this drug? Is there something else you want me to take? Is there something else causing all this? Can I ask for Your Divine intervention? Is there something I can do for YOU? You have said you will give wisdom to those who ask. I am asking. Fill me with Your Spirit of wisdom. Fill me to overflowing. There is nothing more thrilling and more healing than feeling Your presence within me and around me." And things will happen, sometimes little, sometimes big, but definitely in a better direction than you feel right now.
But for the time being, the drugs are not the main focus. God will lead you to a better one or lead you off of them. Give that to Him. Don't make those decisions yourself. That is not what He wants you to do. Let it go. You will know what is right and at the right time. Until then, just trust that you have given it to Him and you will wait and pray patiently for the guidance.
Through my savior Jesus Christ I pray.
poster:bleauberry
thread:761199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20070227/msgs/792037.html