Posted by inanimate peanut on July 18, 2010, at 13:18:40
OK, I feel totally distant from God, almost like I did before I was a Christian. I feel like I can't pray. Things that I used to have a passion for like reading Christian books, listening to Christian music, church, etc. don't do anything for me anymore. It seems like it gets worse the more depressed I get and the worse it gets the more depressed I get. I'm lying about some things right now that are cheating some systems in order to allow me to have money to survive. I know that the Godly thing to do would be to stop and trust God to take care of it, but this is literally my ability to keep my apartment, pay to live stuff--- that's alot of faith! So not only am I lying but I lack faith. Faith is one of the most important things to God, if not THE most important. The Bible says if we have no faith, he has no pleasure in us. Satan has used this knowledge to just drive me further and further away from God until I don't even feel like I matter to God at all. I certainly feel like God can't bless me, meaning the Nortriptyline can't work and my disability application can't get approved. I don't know if I can battle the depression without my spirituality but it seems like the more depressed I get the more I lose my spirituality. I just don't know what to do as the cycle keeps getting worse and worse as I spiral into a deeper depression. Does anybody understand this at all?
poster:inanimate peanut
thread:954898
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20100403/msgs/954898.html