Posted by alesta on December 8, 2005, at 11:30:58
i miss my brother. he died right after my 16th birthday in a (purposeful) bike accident. (he was seventeen when he died.) he was my whole family. his birthday is coming up. he was so great...i wonder if it will be the same when i meet him in the afterlife.:( but i think everyone probably loves everyone in the afterlife..so i wonder if our relationship will still be special or whatever....
he was so smart and we had lots of fun together. we used to tape record ourselves having silly conversations and doing verbal 'skits'.
i rarely ever talk about him to anyone. i don't know why. i guess i figure they won't want to hear about it, which they probably don't.:-) one of my last memories of him involves him telling me, "if i ever die, don't cry." i said "of course i would cry." (he also gave all his stuff away.) if i was older i would've been more forthcoming with expressing my feelings concerning his depression and his attempt at revealing his suicidal feelings...anyway, i don't hold guilt. just a vision of what could be...i wonder what he would have been like/up to now. i wonder if he can see me now...i have heard of ppl tape recording themselves talking to the dead, and hearing the voices of the deceased on tape...i am going to try that when i get the chance..
thanks for letting me share.:) happy birthday, chad. you are very special to me.
alesta:)
poster:alesta
thread:586887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/586887.html