Posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 9:40:34
In reply to when to know when?, posted by justyourlaugh on July 5, 2003, at 0:15:33
Boy, can I relate. I have just changed therapists - when my problem is that I am too dependent on my old therapist. It is very hard.
I guess that I got to a point where the pain was too unbearable. Where I thought the pain of staying was greater than the pain of leaving.
But I, like you, don't trust my ability to make a decision. So I took a survey. I asked my close friends (3). I asked my support groups (1 for depression, the other unrelated to mental health). I asked Babel. They all said I should leave. I guess I trust their combined wisdom more than my own.
I told my therapist. She said OK. (Of course, I find out later that she doesn't understand the reason that I'm leaving)
Then I needed to find a new therapist. I asked for referrals. I asked my therapist and pdoc and GP. I asked two friends who are therapists (one was really helpful and helped me all through the process). I asked a friend who I trust who has been in therapy in this area for 15 years.
I looked for names that came up more than once (there were 2, I think), and guessed on the others. I trusted my therapist and pdoc's referrals more than the others. I had been in group therapy with one - she was a finalist. I called to arrange an interview and discounted a couple after the phone interview. I saw 4 therapists and the interviews were very informative. That brought it down to 2 finalists.
I decided between the two by talking to my therapist and my friend who is a therapist.
I now have a new therapist.
So my solution when I don't trust myself is to get a consensus from people who I do trust.
It sounds like you are in pain. That is enough to start the process. Or you can give more details to those who know you and get their opinions.
Do you think that your pdoc understands the pain you are in? Are you clear, and do you tell all in your appointments? If you have been clear with your pdoc and you think that he understands your situation then you should move on.
It is hard. It is very stressful, but it is worth it.
Is there a depression support group in your area? They will know who the good pdocs and bad pdocs are. Do you have friends who have a good pdoc? There are fewer restrictions about friends seeing the same pdoc than there are about friends seeing the same therapist.
How long have you been seeing your pdoc? How long have you been miserable?
((((((JYL))))))
Let me know how it goes.
poster:fallsfall
thread:239382
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/239463.html