Posted by Dinah on November 4, 2003, at 9:13:49
In reply to Re: Finger crossing didn't work. :((((, posted by Dinah on November 3, 2003, at 12:37:15
How did it go wrong? Let me count the ways...
It unexpectedly was not covered by insurance, because they are not on preferred provider list despite assurances from them that they were. They offered to not charge me for the initial session, but that meant not doing the biofeedback, and despite everything I still think that's got potential. So a very large out of pocket hit of $300 I can't afford.
I don't get to do the brain waves. :(( And that's what I was really looking forward to. (pout) He did hold out hope that before the therapy was over, he might consider it worthwhile. But mainly what he does for migraines is the temperature readings.
He appears to be a big CBT believer. And he also seems to be one of those core belief believers. He kept asking me the theme of this or that. Sigh. He said that there is a mind/emotion/bady connection. And that you can work from the bottom up from body to emotion to mind, which is what biofeedback does. Or that you can work from the mind down to emotions to the body, which is what CBT does. He didn't mention addressing emotions to influence mind and body.
I told him that while CBT worked beautifully for my OCD, it didn't seem to work for the mood stuff. I don't think he believed me. :( He said he saw no reason why it wouldn't work. I told him I had an easily triggered amygdala, and that once triggered all the sensible thoughts in the world didn't change the inevitable consequences. And he agreed that we would use visualization to calm my amygdala. But he kept asking me about themes of everything.
I think it's sort of silly to believe that he can identify my core beliefs, major themes, whatever, in life in eight to ten weekly sessions, much less get me to change them through CBT.
I have at least an hour of homework a day.
He sits too close and tries to force eye contact. Not verbally, but by consistently trying to catch my eye.
He also insulted my therapist, and I told him he had to stop that.
OK. The plus side. I still think there is a lot of potential in biofeedback if I can master it.
When I told him that when I gained control over my OCD through CBT, everything else went downhill, he understood at once (which I'm not sure that my therapist does still). He said that the OCD was masking the core emotional issues and that I needed to address that before I could get better. I see it as the OCD being a release valve that kept the rest of the stuff under control. But we both see a connection between the decrease in OCD symptomology and the increase in other symptoms.
He also zeroed in on a few pertinent points. But that could be due to my time in therapy, I was able to accurately convey the importance of those points. I don't know.
At any rate, I guess I can put up with him for eight to ten weeks to get the biofeedback. Maybe a few additional weeks if he'll let me do the EEG biofeedback.
Sigh. I was really looking forward to that. My brain seems so out of my control. There are days like today when I'm groggy and unfocused. Being able to do the ADD biofeedback exercises to increase my focus seems appealing. There are also my many anxious moments when knowing whether or not I was achieving the proper brainwaves with meditation would be helpful.
Sigh. It doesn't pay to look forward to anything.
poster:Dinah
thread:275271
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/276440.html