Posted by Dinah on March 2, 2004, at 16:54:28
My therapist wanted me to identify areas that I'd like to work on in therapy, and I identified the fact that my daydreams disappeared over eight years ago when he asked about them. I refused to tell him about them, but the daydreams disappeared and only came back a couple of days a year ago last November.
So I told him that that's what I'd like to work on, and he said he didn't understand why they vanished and didn't know how to help me. I asked if telling him about them would help, and he said he didn't know, it might make them go away forever. But since eight years is pretty much forever anyway, I went ahead and tried telling him about them.
Basically before third or fourth grade I had imaginary friends. But starting in third or fourth grade, I started this ongoing fantasy life. It grew and expanded into an alternate fantasy universe, filled with a wide cast of characters, each with their own stories. The characters interacted with each other consistently. There was a history to everything, and while it evolved over time, it stayed basically true to itself. I could add to the story, or go anywhere in the history and "rerun" parts of it. I made dozens of notebooks full of biographies and "diaries" and drawings. Most of those were done in middle or early high school, I think.
Sometime in college, late college, I think, I abandoned that daydream universe and started a new one. It had a different premise and different characters, but was similarly complex and internally consistent. Again, I could add to it or go anywhere into the story and replay parts. Actually, it was more of a saga, with several generations of people and worlds I could choose from. I didn't do written documentation on this one. :)
So I told him all about this, and asked for his help in getting it back. First he waffled, saying he didn't know how to help. And I told him that was ok, I just wanted to know we were working together on it, even if we didn't know the way to make it work. Then he admitted that he didn't know if he wanted to help me get it back.
He said that it wasn't normal or average or whatever to have such a detailed alternate universe that I retreated to as frequently as I did. He said that people daydream more haphazardly. That they might daydream they were on the beach in Tahiti, or wonder what people were talking about, or something like that. But they didn't do this intricate daydreaming. And I asked if he was sure. That maybe that was just him, and other people did it? And he said no. That if I had told him at the time that he would have marked it down as something... unusual, and that he still thought it was unusual. And that he didn't know if it was healthy for him to try and help me get it back.
Does anyone else have an intricate daydream world? Is it really unusual or pathological?
He also seriously alarmed me by telling me that maybe the purpose of my daydreaming was now served by therapy instead. Geez. How can that be? Therapy is a couple of hours a week. Daydreaming was many hours a day. And I'm not sure it's a fair trade. In fact I'm pretty sure it isn't. I was a lot happier when I was daydreaming. And it was cheaper...
Any opinions?
poster:Dinah
thread:319434
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/319434.html