Posted by DaisyM on March 6, 2004, at 14:47:45
In reply to Re: The Magic Ring » All Done, posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 2:35:59
Elle,
I'm 42 and until last sept had never talked about what happened when I was a kid. I told my husband (2 sentences, 20 yrs ago) before we got married because I though it was the right thing to do. We never discussed it, then or now. I had no intention of "working on this" when I went into therapy. I was looking for support and stress reduction.After 4 months, it bubbled up and just came out. Same two sentences I had said to my husband. My Therapist said, "do you want to talk about it?" I said no. And I went home and threw up.
But slowly we have. Because the memories were surfacing and intruding. My lament has been, "why now?" after all this time. My Therapist just said that the psyche has its own time table and when you feel safe "enough" with someone, this sometimes happens.
I want you to know that I remembered one incident pretty well but when I talked about it, I remembered more and others. What I remembered well was actually a middle incident. The details come back sometimes. And the feelings even more slowly. And when I've talked about this, especially in the beginning, I would start, stop, breathe really deep for awhile, use really broad terms and approximations and flinch when he would clarify what I meant. But he has never made me say what I couldn't. I've even written stuff, given it to him and when he asked if I was ready to talk about it, I've said no.
We don't only work on the topic of childhood abuse. We move from present day stressors, back to the past, forward and back again. I can only take so much. I think I've said in previous posts that my Therapist recently clarified for me that breaks are essential.
Don't push yourself too hard. But it seems like you are getting closer and closer to letting it out. It takes a lot of trust in your Therapist; I still often question whether mine can handle ALL of it. So we spend time talking about how telling him is making me feel, not just how I feel about what happened.
I'll help anyway I can. Just ask.
-D
poster:DaisyM
thread:320891
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040303/msgs/321167.html