Posted by devon00 on March 9, 2004, at 17:49:54
Here's the long and the short of it. I had an unhappy childhood. My family was very critical of me.
While I prefer not to focus on my past, it does still color my thoughts and emotions. I am extremely sensitive and reactive. I suppose I take everything personally. For me this is just normal. But recently a friend stopped talking to me because she said I "take everything personally." Also, I have noticed that while I'm always upset or worried about this or that, other people don't seem to be that way. They seem a lot more laidback and just don't seem to take things very personally. Sometimes, even when someone is legitimately mad at them they don't even care! Even if someone is *unfairly* mad at me it bothers me to no end.
This is a big problem that I want to confront and to change. Yet I have no idea how to do it. When dealing with others, it seems like much of relationships are based on your INTERPRETATION of things. Does someone like or dislike you? Is someone snubbing you or just upset about something? Do people think you are smart or dumb? You cannot really know for sure, you just know what you THINK. The problem is that I feel that I'm too focussed on these things (things I can't control) and also that my perceptions may be off. How can I know for sure and how can I change? Do you think yoga will help me to calm down?
I'm tired of being at the mercy of others feelings about me, or my perception of what others think about me. Not only that, but I just want to become calmer and less reactive. Even the way I speak reflects my mindset...I talk quickly and with a lot of emotion and expressiveness.
Sometimes I think I have ended friendships or pushed good people away because it is too hard for them to deal with my ups and downs. I'm a neurotic worrier! I have lots of good qualities but I think this quality has created a roadblock that prevents me from making progress and feeling happier and more centered.
Any thoughts? I'm interested in any ideas, including medication.
poster:devon00
thread:322536
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/322536.html