Posted by noa on March 12, 2004, at 19:05:02
In reply to wanting what you cant have, posted by obSession on March 12, 2004, at 17:53:06
Wanting what I can't have has been a big theme for me---coming from the way my mom responded to my expression of wants and wishes. It came up for me a lot in therapy in the past---I wouldn't want to discuss wishes toward the therapist with him because I felt lousy/greedy/bad for wanting anything, and because I knew I couldn't have what I wanted from the therapist, it would definitely trigger those bad feelings toward my self. But over time I was able to accept that the wanting isn't bad at all and just because you can't get something doesn't mean it is bad to have wanted it.
Funny you should use the word "tease". My therapist has used it to validate some of my perceptions in the past when I felt that certain mini-disclosures about him stimulated all the needy/wanty parts of me. He acknowledged his role in slightly loosening a boundary and he said he understood my feelings because what he had said might have been like a 'tease'.
poster:noa
thread:323707
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/323731.html