Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2004, at 0:35:06
In reply to Re: It went ok » fallsfall, posted by crushedout on April 27, 2004, at 22:05:14
(((((Crushed)))))
*I* won't make you give them up.
I understand too well how important a therapist can be. Mine was important to me in a different way than yours is important to you, but I do think that the intensity was similar.
I believed, in my soul, for many years that without her I would die. I was frantic to keep her, to defend her, to honor her. She was my hope.
As things deteriorated, though, it became too clear that *with* her I would die. I couldn't tolerate the pain any longer.
It came down to a *belief* that without her I would die and a *certainty* that with her I would die. There was a possibility that I could live without her, and I needed to search for that possibility. The decision to look into life without her was excruciating, and so terrifying. But I did live through it. And I grew.
It is still hard for me to recognize that she was *hurting* me. I still won't believe that she wanted to hurt me. But the fact is that she *was* hurting me. And I needed to leave to protect myself.
Only you can decide what you need to do. But, as someone who has successfully passed through a similar and terrifying decision, I want you to know that I *do* have life on this other side. And while my current life isn't all roses (I am livid at my therapist at this moment), it is a life that is moving forward. So I know that I made the right decision for me.
I feel your terror and your sadness, and remember my own too well. The unknown can be very scary, but it can also be the way to move forward.
(((((Crushed)))))
Falls.
poster:fallsfall
thread:340405
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/340864.html