Posted by ghost on May 12, 2004, at 17:18:19
In reply to hello from the hospital, posted by ghost on May 11, 2004, at 10:42:48
well, it's wednesday, and i was discharged after lunch today. that puts my stay in the affective disorders unit at almost exactly 5.5 days. i still can't thank everyone enough for their support. the hardest thing i have ever done in my life was to walk into that ER and admit that i needed help. (i never really said "i need help," incidentally. i just kept mumbling "i called earlier" over and over again, but they got the picture that i was obviously a psych case and treated me very nicely and promptly.)
the only somewhat negative part of my stay was that i admitted myself on a weekend, when there are less intense group sessions and fewer social workers visiting. however, that made my first two days a little lighter and it was nice to catch up on some of the rest i had been lacking for a very long time. (my roommate was ready to kill me because of my snoring-- but thankfully the pdoc told her i couldn't help it! nyah nyah!)
they put me right back on the abilify that i had taken in the past, and on a lower dose than what the previous pdoc had last prescribed so as not to over-medicate me. he also agreed to see me through a practice that has a sliding-fee scale after my discharge, as well as set me up with a T (also on a sliding fee) so i can get as much help as possible between now and whenever i move (i'm likely to be relocating for a job in the future).
the nurses, for the most part, were really wonderful. there's always a couple of mushy grapes in the bunch, but as a whole, i was treated with respect and dignity and lots of love. it was such a supportive environment i actually felt comfortable calling up my parents (1600 miles away) and telling them everything that's been going on (they didn't even know i'd been diagnosed with anything or had been taking psychotropic drugs, let alone that i'd been feeling depressed enough to think about harming myself).
Falls: meds *are* great when you need them. plus it was nice to be reassured that i *was* being overmedicated previously as i had suspected, and the pdoc on call was perfectly okay with keeping me as his patient instead of calling the jerk i used to see on campus.
B2C: the jello molds were actually kinda good. hehe. it was nice getting three good meals a day-- far better than i'd been doing for the previous two weeks. i think that alone did wonders for my health. plus they had some great vegetarian options! and snacks in the afternoon and evening! i found it slightly amusing (but understood why) they didn't trust us with regular plates and glasses but wondered why we got real silverware. and i think i'll die a happy girl if i never see canned bing cherries ever again for as long as i live.
also, i think the net privledges were part of my "recovery" because i mentioned that i had my father check my job-hunting email address for me and i'd gotten some really positive news from pfizer (my employer of choice) that they probably want to hire me, and i was concerned i wouldn't be home in time to return the email to let them know i was still interested. so my wonderful day nurse, Rusti, hooked me up with the visitors center so that i could use their computer instead of going outside for 15 minutes. so, not only did i get some needed counselling, medication, and rest, but i got some good news on my job front, as well. (LG, if you need a hookup with a chemE job, maybe i'll be able to help you out soon!)
i had posted awhile ago about the technical details of being admitted, and i was pretty surprised about how they *didnt* strip search me like i expected. maybe because i was in of my own free will. they did take away my cell phone and pretty much everything in my pockets but they let me keep my cane (i have a broken foot bone). it was annoying that i couldn't keep my own meds on me, even the ones i couldn't overdose on (birth control pills and asthma meds), but they were good about getting them to me when i had to have them. they even gave me a new notebook to use as a journal since i was starting to fill up the journal i'd brought with me.
i met a lot of great people (other patients), too. it was invaluable to be able to connect with so many different people of different ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, and life experiences on such a similar level. it was unlike anything i ever experienced, and i think that was another major contributor to my healing process. i hope i keep in touch with some of them. i also learned that people *do* care about me-- when i finally let a few people know where i was and how they could call me, i was surprised that i actually got some concerned phone calls and my friend jessica visited me and was far more supportive than i ever imagined. and, like i said, all of you for your wonderful support when i needed it most of all.
lots of love and thankfulness,
ghost
poster:ghost
thread:345700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/346228.html