Posted by shadows721 on May 15, 2004, at 16:08:29
For the trauma work that I am involved in, I really need to have a safe place fully engaged within my mind to retreat when things get too scary. I don't know why, but this has been very difficult. I am really trying hard to work on this issue. Everytime I would think of something, it would have a infiltration of something scary from my abuse come into the scene. I would internally fight with myself to keep those scary things out of the scene.
Suddenly one night, I got an image of walking up to a english cottage like home. I thought I was dreaming, but I was awake. It had a warm glowing light inside it in the night. I was drawn to it. I saw beautiful flower like trees on the side of the building and a pond to the side with ducks. The door was open for me. The porch had soft pillows on the benches. I walked in and saw a mirror and looked at myself. I was in a beast like costume. The house was inviting. Cakes and cookies rested for me to eat. A place for reading books was to my side with a mural(sp?) of a fantasy place. There were stairs that went straight up the second floor, which was just a look out post. An infant baby was in a room and someone was assigned to watch her, but I didn't meet them. Gosh, I thought - Is this real or not real. Am I dreaming or not? Is this the safe place for the child parts of myself?
I also think seeing myself as a beast like creature in a costume is how the abuse has made me feel about myself, but the mirror had to show that to me.
poster:shadows721
thread:347194
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/347194.html