Posted by Aphrodite on May 20, 2004, at 19:15:00
I was going to talk about meds, I was going to ask him if a remark he made a couple of sessions ago indicated he may be relocating, and I was going to tell him that talking about intellectual issues at this point is total avoidance. Did I get even close to any of them? Nope.
Instead, we did energy therapy. It really didn't help, and he acknowledged that but thought it was worth the attempt. At the end, I said that I thought it didn't work because I can intellectualize it, and it doesn't get to the root of the problem. He said he was wanting to use gentler techniques so I don't become emotionally flooded. Mind you, I've gone weekly for 7 months and have cried only 3 times that I can think of. I've teared up some, though. Anyway, it occurred to me that he has mentioned the sessions in which I cried many times -- they really seemed to have affected him, and he was very concerned about me. On one of those days, he followed me into the parking lot to make sure I was OK. I think he worries that "going deep" is too much for me at this stage, so he does things to avoid it, and if I seem on the verge of tears, he always lets me off the hook.
So, I asked what was wrong with being flooded. He seemed surprised and said it was a good question. He responded that he didn't want to push me further into depression and thought I couldn't contain the flooding. I told him that pain he has seen in his office doesn't hold a candle to what I feel on most days. At this point, it was time to go, so he said he'd give it some more thought.
Here's what I really want to do but am scared to do -- I want to call him tomorrow and explain that since the last 2 weeks were a wash, and there is a lot I feel ready to jump into, could I have an additional session next week to accelerate the process and capitalize on my willingness to open up if prodded. I've never asked for anything extra; I've only called him about appointment conflicts. I think I would shrivel up and die if he said no. I tried to hint last week about needing more than once a week sessions by saying once a week barely makes a dent. That's when he got into the energy stuff as a way to give me something to do on my own. Not quite what I meant.
Any advice? Should I call?
poster:Aphrodite
thread:348978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/348978.html