Posted by lifeworthliving on May 20, 2004, at 22:45:38
In reply to Re: body work, posted by pegasus on May 20, 2004, at 15:14:19
not traumatizing at all. sorry it took me so long to respond.
hmmm, where to start?
it was weird to see my therapist and the massage therp together where the massage t works. it was awkward initially, and i did ask my t to leave and let m t get me set up on the table. not sure why that bugged me or was important but i felt better after she left. i loved having my clothes on! i had been banned just a month prior for not doing it right (i think i mean for complaining a lot, and when given an opportunity to "find, feel and express" i didn't perform - lol). it was new territory for all of us so didn't feel very natural (that isn't the right word but i can't think of anything more suitable right now). it was just ok, kwim? i'm not dying to go back and i wouldn't refuse to do it again. i'm willing to play guinea pig for a bit. i didn't like paying the massage t for getting "less than" what i usually get. the idea this time was to let my t sort of run interference but also do lifespan integration work... if it seemed to be appropriate. the m t was more of support person even though this is her territory, generally. it was thought that my traumatic past is what made massage t appts difficult? i continued to go because they felt constructive to me. i did feel better when i left, etc. i just pissed of the mt one day not too long ago when i didn't do what she wanted me to. like i'd been given this fabulous opportunity and wouldn't yeild to her knowledge and authority or something. my t probably felt responsible because she recommended her? at this point i would probably not do it again right now. maybe because i'm cheap? i love seeing my t in her office and maybe this outside encounter was too much? i do run into her often (probably at least once a week) out in the real world and i do handle it ok but that wasn't always the case. i never knew if i should run the other way or run up to her and start drooling all over her. it's so weird to be an adult and have these childlike wants, wishes. if i didn't answer something feel free to ask. i'm still thinking about it all and would love to answer any question you might have. i have an appt with my t in the morning and i'm glad we'll be back in our regular space.
poster:lifeworthliving
thread:347454
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/349051.html