Posted by LostGirl on May 24, 2004, at 20:25:26
In reply to Re: My marriage and my therapist, posted by shadows721 on May 20, 2004, at 22:39:30
I went through a similar thing. Thought about him all the time and it made the shortcomings I already saw in my husband seem all the more unbearable. I was with that therapist for 3.5 years, and it's been over 2 since and I can't say I'm 100% over him yet.
But here's my perspective on this situation - therapy is a situation that sets you up for heartbreak. It creates an environment that is so warm and kind and caring and all focused on you that it brings out neediness and dependency even if you think you weren't that way. It's like that perfect mother/father love we never got. Plus since we're adults there's the attraction element and also since we're peers there's maybe even a sibling/friend element. So this one person is like everything rolled into one - parent, lover, friend, etc.
But it's a setup and unreal because even if they are being pretty genuine, they are still behaving in a professional capacity and purposefully being helpful and kind. In real life with their own spouse, they probably are as cranky, moody, demanding, impatient, etc, etc as we all are in real life. In therapy they seem so wonderful and perfect because it's their job to be that way (not implying they are not being genuine, but they are being genuine in their professional persona)
poster:LostGirl
thread:348353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/350251.html