Posted by shadows721 on July 18, 2004, at 2:49:24
In reply to suicidal thought remorse?, posted by B2chica on July 12, 2004, at 9:40:48
B2,
I have had suicidal thoughts all my life. Some how, I keep hoping for a better day. I am too afraid of not breathing. Even though, there are times when I felt I didn't care anymore at all about anything. When I get like this, I sleep a lot or I force myself to get help. I take my meds, journal, go to therapy and paint my pain onto a canvas. I have no easy answers. I swear that depression is like a brutal invisible enemy that at times gets just too much to carry. Something in me is a fighter and doesn't want me to die. They kick in and say "Shadows, take it easy. Why don't you read a book or try that new soda or dessert. Why don't you just lay down and cry wrap yourself in a blanket shut the light out and come out when this feeling passes?" I have heard that depression comes from not wanting to feel painful emotions. I don't know if that's true or not. But, sometimes, we do just need to cry, force ourselves to eat some something, feed some ducks and just curl up under comfortable sheets until the winds of the storm pass. When the storm dies down, we must prepare ourselves and have comforting things around us for the next storm like, a mini water fall or a mini zen garden.
poster:shadows721
thread:365276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/367295.html