Posted by alexandra_k on September 13, 2004, at 21:34:43
I feel like I am at the end of my rope. I have been in the system (public funding for the poor) for seven years. Depression, anti-depressents, mood stabilisers, ECT, nothing works so the inevitable BPD.
Terminated. 'DBT is the only thing that can help you'. That is when half the people who meet criteria get treatment and half get to be the control group. I get put in the control group (after studying my criteria to make damn sure I meet it - what a BPD thing to do, right??). Then someone drops out so I get the treatment. Contract for a year. Then at the end of that year, terminated. 'You have made no progress with psychological intervention for that last 5 years, there is no indication that future intervention will be of assistance, therefore I reccomend that nobody work with you'. After they take my improvement as evidence for the effectiveness of DBT in our 'unique cultural environment' of course.
I jumped off an overbridge. Smashed up both my feet and broke both my legs. Hospital for a month. Wheelchair for three. Crutches for a month 'you will never be able to walk without crutches'. But I can. Emotional pain is worse. The scars along my arms are worse. Long sleeves for me in the desert heat of Canberra, preaching to philosophers on how delusions are 'normal responses to anomalous experiences' (see Maher, 1999, 2003).
No treatment. Nice p-doc. In retirement I find out now. Just doing some work for the good old system while he is on holiday from Canada. 3 months. Then he is gone.
Then someone agrees to work with me. But I talk too much. I need to talk about voices and missing time, missing time and smack. The bottom of an overbridge.
Terminated.
(I don't feel safe working with you this is beyond my area of expertise)
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? YOU CAN RUN BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? DO YOU THINK I AM QUALIFIED TO WORK WITH ME? DO YOU THINK I FEEL SAFE?
so (someone should work with her - just please god not me) duly noted amongst the masses of my file. Before they are bumped off to storage because who is going to read them when I dont get a clinician.
Because occasionally people get all excited. Golly gee, you have a promising academic career (smack, yeah right).
And simples combine to produce propositions which mirror reality, either being fulfilled in facts, or picturing what is not. The structure of reality, mirrored in thought, expressed in language. The limits of sense, the limits of what can be expressed in language.
WHAT WE CANNOT SPEAK OF WE MUAT PASS OVER IN SILENCE
is it me or is it the system? taken out of my parents care when i was a kid for being locked in my room for 7 years. not conducive to being rich
how did you finish school?
being told i shouldnt even be at varsity
how did you graduate college?crazy philosopher.
smack
im not qualified to live with myself
going crazy
dr is off sick this week
and what reception will i get when he gets back anyway
cant afford medication
going crazy
there is no hope for me
smack.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:390503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/390503.html