Posted by Dinah on October 20, 2004, at 9:41:38
In reply to Re: How much better do you have to be??? » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on October 20, 2004, at 7:00:36
I'm doing my best. And I'm actually not bad at reducing expectations for myself. Ask my husband. ;P
But my expectations for myself at the best of times aren't all that high, because I long ago figured out my limitations. That doesn't leave a lot of wriggle room.
I actually did try to shift some of my work load. But my efforts were met with incomprehension. A "well, you can do it later this month" that had me wanting to cry. But the truth is that short term, there's nothing I can do to shift the work load. I've done my work for so long that I've got it all down to a system. And explaining to others how to do it would take a heck of a lot longer than doing it myself.
I ought to try to fix that problem someday. They'll be left in a jam if something happens to me.
And sad to say, neither my husband nor I have much of a support system. Our real friends have moved on, in one way or another, and we're mainly left with aquaintances. Probably something I should also work on. I've never been good at making connections, and part of the reason that I was attracted to my husband is that I perceived that he *was* good at it.
Imagine the astonishment of both of us that what friends we do have remaining are mainly mine, and I'm more likely to make deeper connections with new friends than he is. Not all that deep, but deeper. I'm still reeling. How can someone who really *likes* being with other people be less good at making connections than someone who really *doesn't*. Especially since he gets along much better with others than I do and has a wide range of acquaintances.
Which is a tangent, I know. But explains our joint lack of a sturdy stool. One reason I feel like I need to let him lean on me more than I lean on him is that I have other legs on my stool - even if they're not always available.
poster:Dinah
thread:404365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/405092.html