Posted by littleone on February 6, 2005, at 21:02:44
In reply to Re: My dad (csa trigger) » littleone, posted by daisym on February 4, 2005, at 0:39:36
Thank you for sharing daisy. For some reason, I kept getting real upset over the fact that you'd let your kids be with him. I kind of sensed that you'd be very protective of your kids and wouldn't let them be in a dangerous situation, but it was upsetting me anyway. I'm sure it is something to do with my own issues, eg no one protecting me as a kid. Thanks for putting my mind at rest.
> your parents put their shame into you...him for what he was doing and her for what she wasn't.
This is expressed so clearly and makes so much sense. Your struggles and conflicts come through so strongly in your posts. I honestly don't know how you're doing it. It amazes me that you can work on something so much and so often. I get antsy over the smallest thing and jump around from one subject to the next to the next. Sometimes I'm sure I leave my T (and probably other babblers) dizzy trying to follow my therapy roadmap.
> Otherwise the only conclusion I arrive at is that I was somehow bad, and not worth saving.
I don't understand why no one helped me when I was younger. At the very minimum anyone can tell I am extremely shy. At best you can see that I'm really screwed up. I don't understand why no one has ever suggested therapy before. Ever. Why no teacher or school guidence councellor or a family friend or relative has ever tried to help me. To even talk to me, connect with me. Hurts so much. Couldn't they even see a smidgeon of something worthwhile in me? Couldn't they see a sweet little kid underneath the shell?
poster:littleone
thread:451102
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050206/msgs/454123.html