Posted by daisym on February 11, 2005, at 21:08:24
In reply to Re: Parts and Pieces » daisym, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2005, at 19:12:13
No don't shut up! I need to keep hearing this. Thank you all for your insight and replies. In reading over the responses I was able to recognize a couple of things. I think pfinstegg's thoughts on one side informing the other of the transferences is a good one. In my case it is reversed, the younger parts are completely attached and want to be there, the adult isn't so sure that we should be talking about all of this.
What I told my therapist today is that I'm worried that letting little daisy be the keeper of the memories is a cop-out somehow, like I don't want to face up to them. He said that I'm still uncomfortable acknowledging the split, and that I might (unconsciously) be hoping that if I can make it "wrong" to have this younger part then I can silence her. Hmmmm...
I told him it felt a little manipulative -- like I let her come out in order to feel attached to him. Because not being attached feels so bad. He said it wasn't manipulative, it was healthy but again, uncomfortable for the adult to have these needs and admit them. He said he wants me to talk about myself in whatever way I need to but he thinks this is an authentic part that has a lot to say.
He asked me if the fear had come up again around the power of this attachment -- was I worried that he would use the power to take advantage of me? I said that wasn't it,I wasn't concerned about physical stuff. Rather, it was more about his ability to hurt me -- I'm very sensitive right now to the wrong word, and I'm likely to misinterpret stuff and I feel like such a pain in the a**. He said we needed to talk about this more, because he wondered if this is what little daisy is really afraid of. He thinks she finds him scary right now but it is too embarressing for the adult to admit that...after all, what would that mean about the fantasies or thoughts that go with all of that?
I did what I usually do with these sorts of discussions....retreat into silence!
poster:daisym
thread:456153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/456543.html